(no subject)

[last_adam]

*Adam wanders. He's gotten sick of wandering the circle of his- Crowley's flat, and so he's returned to the bar. Two, three, four times he wandered by Lucy's door, eyeing it, and not knocking. A drink or two later, he's back, and sitting on the floor, and still not knocking. Frowning, he starts to leave, and it's not until he's almost at the door that he remembers Alanna's comment from the other night. It's not easy to find her room in the staff quarters, he'd only been once, and it wasn't by himself, but he finds it eventually. He's gearing up the courage to knock, and wondering why, exactly, it feels like it needs courage, when he instead leans against the wall and slides to the floor.*

Comments

[the_lioness]

*She bites the inside of her cheek and exhales. After a moment's consideration, she looks at him and does just that.*

Might be in love? That's not very emphatic. If there is something I've learned, it's that there's not much room for maybe or possibly when it comes to love. You either are or you aren't.

You deserve an emphatic "I love you."

*Stressed, she furrows her brow and silently curses her frankness.*

I'm sorry. It's just... you do. I want you to be happy.

[last_adam]

*Adam shakes his head and laughs. It's not very nice.*

But-

I just don't know.

[the_lioness]

*softly* Know what, Adam?

*She pours him more rum and absently taps her glass against his.*

[last_adam]

Anything, really.

*He smiles at her, and takes a large drink.*

What 'm supposed to do with a girl who thinks she loves me, who I never see. A girl I think I love, but who'll never get older.

[the_lioness]

I wish I could give you answers.

*She holds her glass up and peers at it. What I'm supposed to do with a girl who thinks she loves me, who I never see... Alanna whimpers slightly, realizing she could so easily apply that statement to herself if she simply switched "girl" to "boy" and "she" to "he."

It's not a particularly welcome revelation.*

There were an awful lot of "thinks" in that. I thought you, at least, were sure.

I forgot she would never age. *She looks at him with concern.* It's odd, isn't it? I can't help but think about that every time I see Thom.

[last_adam]

It's easy to forget about, when she's there. It's-

*he shakes his head and takes another drink.

It's late at night in the flat, watching couples out the window, holding hands; it's watching the people in the store with their parents and their children and their families.*

I wonder what that must be like, to know you'll stay like that forever.

[the_lioness]

Thom doesn't seem to mind. *She sniffs, hurriedly swiping at her right eye.* But he would never want to do the things others of us might, like have children or grow old... He's perfectly content to stay twenty forever.

*And now I'm twenty one, and we aren't the same anymore. Alanna stays quiet for a moment, afraid her voice might crack.*

I don't even think he minds that he's lost the freedom to go where he pleases. But then again, it's more than most people hope for when they die.

[last_adam]

*Adam reaches out and places his hand on Alanna's arm, trying to comfort her but not quite sure how.*

I s'pose so. I s'pose people here've got it lucky.

[the_lioness]

*Alanna stares blankly at his hand, highly irritated with herself. She's supposed to be comforting him, not the other way around.

This isn't about her.

She squeezes his hand and takes another drink.*

I think so. It's just hard for the rest of us, the ones who are still alive and grow to care about those who are not.

Adam... do you think you will be alright with that? For the long haul?

[last_adam]

*And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? His voice is almost a whisper.*

I don't know.

[the_lioness]

*Alanna nods, at a loss as to what to do. Biting her lip, she scoots closer until they are shoulder to shoulder and wraps her arm through his, squeezing lightly.*

I'm sorry, Adam. I know it's hard. It's not something we grow up thinking we'll ever have to consider. I can't, and wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but I will say this. Consider your options very, very carefully. If you make yourself miserable, you'll eventually make her miserable to.

*At that, she lets her head fall back with a small groan and takes another drink.*

[last_adam]

*Adam starts laughing; it's the laugh of the drunk and the laugh of the upset and perhaps just a tinge of the laugh of the insane.*

[the_lioness]

*Alanna stiffens, not exactly sure what she said wrong. She lets go of him and brings her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them as she eyes him.*

Why are you laughing?

[last_adam]

Oh, just, between you and Mordred...

you'd never think I'd be getting the same advice from two people who were so different.

[the_lioness]

*Alanna blinks, picking at the couch cushion.*

Well, telling someone to consider their options carefully isn't such unusual advice to give.

[last_adam]

*He laughs a bit more, wiping tears from his eyes.*

Oh, no, it's not that. It's more... the reason behind the advice, s'all.

[the_lioness]

Ah. *She tilts her head curiously.* What were Mordred's reasons?

[last_adam]

*Adam shakes his head, still smiling a bit.*

He thinks it won't work out because we're not sleeping together.

*He takes another sip of rum*

Er, Lucy and I. Not Mordred and I. Not that we're sleeping together, either.

[the_lioness]

*Unfortunately, Alanna chose the wrong moment to take a drink. She nearly chokes. Coughing, she stares at him incredulously.*

Really? Um, how do you kn... why... *She blushes, clearing her throat. The concept is somewhat alien to her.* Why?

[last_adam]

*Adam can't help it, maybe it's the rum, but he's already laughing, and he's now laughing at Alanna.*

Why what? How do I know what? Complete sentences are a help.

[the_lioness]

That you want to be with her forever! *Red faced, Alanna blurts it out before she can stop herself. Her blush worsens.* I mean... that's a huge... don't you want to make sure you're really attracted to each other?

*She downs the rest of her drink and growls.*

I'm not coming off really well in this conversation, am I? It's not as bad as it sounds, really. *She takes a deep breath.* Why haven't you?

[last_adam]

*Adam rests his head in his hands.*

You, too?

I-

I guess I don't. But I never said I wanted to be with her forever-

*He stops himself short, flushing and seeming to try to forget what he just said.*

She, um. She wants to wait for marriage.

[the_lioness]

*Alanna's eyebrows shoot up, and she seeks refuge in more rum. It's starting to hit her rather hard. She giggles, but it sounds pained.*

Oh, dear. She probably wouldn't think very highly of me then. *Blinking, she frowns at her glass.* No. I just assumed.

[last_adam]

*Adam blinks, and his expression is a bit shell shocked.*

Yeah.

*he shakes his head, as if trying to clear it, but it only vaguely works.*

Hrm? What?


I think I need some more rum.

[the_lioness]

Yeah. *Wincing, she quickly passes him the bottle.*

I said that I just assumed you had visions of staying with her forever. All this talk of love and what not.