(no subject)

[last_adam]

*Adam lays on Alanna's bed, in the dark, in the silence. Hands folded behind his bed, he stares at the ceiling, listening to time pass.

...it is a controllable thing, but it is never gone...

Hours flow into minutes flow into seconds, and still she's not back, and he's left alone

in the dark

with his thoughts. He likes the dark, really, he craves it. But the dark is a breeding place for those

...parts of you that you have no control over...

creatures that would devour you whole.*

Comments

[last_adam]

You-

*He reaches down and takes her hand in his, squeezing it.*

[the_lioness]

*She nods, clinging to him a bit.*

Didn't think. Just acted. I'm so used to fighting the unknown here... people, beings who can anticipate my every move. I think I expected him to block it, and my head was already thinking about how to counterattack...

But he didn't. He was just drunk, and possibly stupid.

And now he's dead.

[last_adam]

You did what you thought was right. What you needed to do.

*He says all of this without thinking, but knows it to be true, even without going inside to find out.*

[the_lioness]

*She shakes her head.*

Maybe it felt necessary at the time, but it wasn't right. Faith managed not to kill anyone, and she has far more power than I.

Sometimes I wonder if I've left myself behind. If that makes any sense.

[last_adam]

*Adam laughs a little because, yeah, yeah, it makes more sense than it probably should.*

I'm sorry.

[the_lioness]

Me too.

*Biting her lip, she rests her chin on his chest and looks up at him.*

I suspect I shall go to the Temple and attempt to make sense of all this tomorrow. *She smiles wanly.* How are you really, Adam? Besides here.

[last_adam]

*Adam shrugs and turns his head to the side, bringing a hand up to run through her hair.*

[the_lioness]

*She closes her eyes, smiling faintly.*

That good, huh?

*Shifting, she rests her head on his shoulder and gently trails her fingers up his side and along his chest and stomach. Comforting, not tickling.*

I wish you would talk to me sometimes. I'm not going to say anything or pass judgment. You know that.

[last_adam]

I know. I'm just not even sure I know how to put it into words.

*He closes his eyes, relaxing under her touch.*

[the_lioness]

*She sits up a bit and pulls him closer, letting her hand brush over his face before continuing downward again. It's soothing her as much as it might, she hopes, be soothing him.*

Try. I certainly can not say anything if you fail. I have similar problems. Perhaps start by telling me about the rest of your evening?

*Something, anything. She doesn't want to think about hers.*

[last_adam]

I-

*He nods, takes a breath and starts again.*

I had a talk with Raven.

[the_lioness]

Ah, my friend Nightstorm.

*She smiles encouragingly and continues well... petting him, really.*

He is... unique.

[last_adam]

Yeah.

*he laughs*

He is.

*his lips purse as he thinks, trying to figure out how to say what seems so big in his head, and so meaningless in words.*

[the_lioness]

Makes you think, doesn't he? Mischievous too. He would have to be to do what he does - cause trouble and create worlds. He presented his talents in that order, not I.

*Alanna waits, watching him.*

[last_adam]

*nods*

He-

He destroys worlds, too.

[the_lioness]

Does he? *Alanna tilts her head, considering.* I did not know that. For reasons, or simply because he can?

[last_adam]

*Adam shrugs*

Either. Both, sometimes. I think. I'm not really sure.

[the_lioness]

I see. *She remains quiet for a moment.* What did you two discuss this evening?

[last_adam]

*He doesn't quite meet her eyes and he speaks, with a not quite sane chuckle.*

Destruction. Sanity. Remembering. Seeing.

[the_lioness]

*Alanna swallows, running her fingers through his hair and hugging him close with her other arm.*

Destruction. *The snap of bone.* Of worlds?

Sanity. *Insanity runs in our family.* Sanity is relative.

Remembering... *She pauses. Think before you fight.* It does not do to dwell in the past, but one must try to learn from it.

Seeing. *She smiles and drops a kiss on the top of his head.* I see you. I see you, and I wish I could help. But I suspect you meant something else.

[last_adam]

*Adam's nodding all along.*

When you- when worlds are destroyed, you become... not quite yourself.

[the_lioness]

It - it is the same when you take a life. *Her eyes get that glazed, unfocused look again.* You wonder if you will recognize yourself the next time you happen upon a mirror.

*She glances at him again, shaking herself.*

This is.. something you have experienced?

[last_adam]

I-

*He pulls back and blinks at her, a bit in surprise.*

Didn't you ever wonder how I could be here if I was the antichrist?

[the_lioness]

Adam...

*She looks at him plaintively, feeling more than a little stupid.*

Don't forget that your god and your devil... your reality... is very different than mine. I know your father is the antithesis of what Aziraphael represents. What he supports. But our Gods are not the same.

*She sighs.*

I'm still not entirely clear on what that all means. I assumed you would tell me when you were ready. It's not that I don't want to know, I just didn't want to push you.

[last_adam]

I-

*He takes a deep breath, and starts to explain. About God, about the angels. About Lucifer and his fall. As much as he can remember, and as much as he knows from this place.*

...and I am, well. The destroyer of worlds. I bring about the apocalypse. Was supposed to, anyway. Did, in fact.