last_adam | (no subject)

(no subject)

*Adam's been up for a while, just watching her sleep. There's a kind of magic that comes with the early morning light, and he's afraid that if he moves, it'll shatter.*

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*She gasps, eyes heavy-lidded as she pulls back a bit to look at him.*

Wool itches.

*Having clarified this important fact, she moans softly and flicks her tongue along the inside of his lower lip, deepening the kiss. Careful not to upset their balance, she stops long enough to leap into his arms, legs wrapping around him.*

We're insane.

*Arms supporting Alanna, he pushes her back into the mirrored wall of the dressing room, pressing her between it and himself as he kisses her. For a brief moment, he catches the feel of her nails on his skin and her teeth on his lip and suddenly it's

hard, hot, rough

NOT last night, it's not last night, and she's not Thom, and neither is he. But he pulls back for a moment, resting his head on her shoulder.*

*Breathing unsteadily, Alanna drops her head back against the glass and lets her legs start to fall back to the ground.

It doesn't take a huge stretch of the imagination to know what he's thinking. He did the same thing when they were in the lake... and Goldy...

Okay, this really fucking hurts.

She doesn't say anything, just strokes his hair and stares off into space.*

*He doesn't pick his head up from her shoulder quite yet, nor does he put her down. He does, however, bring one of his hands down to grasp hers.*

I'm sorry. I was-

and it was-

He's not you, Alanna, as much as I wanted him to be last night.

*She nods stiffly, the arm around his shoulders tightening.*

It's okay.

*It's not really, but she has no idea what to say. She's struggling against the tears and the jealousy, and so far winning.*

I- You don't have to say that, Adam. I saw it.

He's not me. I'm not him. But I love you. And if you want to talk about anything, you know I'll listen, right?

*Eyeing the single wobbly chair provided, Adam wraps his arms around Alanna and slides the both of them to the floor, trying - and mostly succeeding - to land her in his lap.*

Talking, right. Talking is good.

*He's mostly trying to reassure himself.*

Last night, I thought-

I thought maybe if you didn't want me, he could-

*Adam trails off, not detailing what Thom could do; both he and Alanna know it well.*

Or maybe I could be like I was.

But I can't.

And I know that's not what you said and it's not what you meant, but it's what I thought.

Oh, Adam.

*Squeezing her eyes shut, she buries her face in his throat and shivers.*

I'm sorry I couldn't get the right words out. I'm sorry if you ever thought I didn't want you.

But I'm not sorry you aren't like you used to be. I'm not sorry that you're the wonderful person you are.

*She sniffs, losing the battle.*

*He wraps his arms around her, laying kisses on her head, cheek, nose, neck, mouth, anywhere he can get, using his hands to wipe away her tears.*

I love you.

*Alanna takes a deep breath. She feels like if she doesn't say it, it will slowly choke her to death.*

I won't lie and say it didn't hurt. I've been so torn up over Thom and not being enough for him. Ever. And then that... It hurt. And I thought maybe I wasn't enough for you either.

But I stayed, I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. And I do trust you.

I love you, Adam.

I also think we should buy the purple dress.

I love you.

You're all I need. But I do need you.

*He brings a finger up to smooth along her cheek.*

I never want to hurt you. I think-

I think Thom was afraid I might anyway.

*He shrugs, not quite sure why that came to mind, but it feels true enough. Eventually he smiles and starts to help her up.*

The purple dress it is.

*Snagging his hand in both of hers, she kisses his palm.*

You have me, Adam.

*Thinking about Thom, she nods slowly and stands.*

Maybe that black one too. Where else do you need to go?

*Her heartbeat approaches something resembling normal. Hunting up her clothes, she slowly pulls the skirt back on and fastens it, her fingers feeling oddly clumsy.*

*He helps her find her top, and put that on, smiling with a bravado that he almost feels.*

Nowhere much. I was going to pick up a few presents, but-

*he winks*

-that may have to wait for another trip.

*Alanna bites her lip and nods, gathering the dresses.*

Okay. I- I have presents to get too, but I can wait. Besides, we might be escorted from the building any moment now. Defying convention and all that.

*She smiles and squeezes his hand, opening the door with the other.*

*They walk out of the dressing room, hand in hand, but strangely enough, nobody seems to notice anything out of the ordinary.*

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