last_adam | (no subject)

(no subject)

For somebody who'd been living in the city, Adam sure does tend to enjoy the quiet of the outdoors. Which would be why he's out by the lake, book in hand. He's not actually reading it, but don't point that out.

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She's not pointing it out, just approaching. Either she's content just to be next to him--which could be--or she's waiting to bring something up.

In the meantime, the lake is rather nice to just watch.

It's nice to watch, even as there's a smooth one two three little circles as Adam skips a rock across the surface.

She smiles, and then looks down and fingers a handful of sand.

"I need you to take it back."

He doesn't say anything immediately, another stone goes skipping across the surface of the water.

"He's too noble for his own good," she says finally, and there's only one he she could be talking about. "If I'm alive, he wants me to have a life, and get married and have children."

She adds a few more ripples and skips a stone of her own.

"Which you deserve."

Lucy smiles, and it hurts, and doesn't look up at him. "They wouldn't be his."

"And he doesn't deserve that."

"I don't know about that," Lucy says slowly, letting sand dribble out of her fist. "I don't know that it's about deserving or not. I think he'd understand, even. I suspect he'd tell me he did, anyway. But deserving aside, I don't...I don't know that I could ever look at his face if I had to tell him that. And I don't think I want children if they're not his, too. Besides, whose would I have?" she shrugs, looking at him. "I don't think I could bring myself to try and find someone else to love. I probably could. I probably could fall in love and grow old and happy and have a fairly good life with children and all. But it wouldn't be with him. And I don't want that."

Adam simply nods.

"I'm sorry."

She nods, and nods, and nods again, and rests her chin on her knees.

"I'm scared. It's easy to risk your life. It's different to be certain."

He shifts a bit and leans over, wrapping an arm around her.

"Are you certain?"

It's easy to rest her head on his shoulder, and she leaves it there for several moments without speaking.

"I'm rarely certain. I just trust my instincts and try to remember that whatever happens, it's because of what I chose. I'm--" Lucy stops, and bites her lip. Because there's no undoing things like this, really. You don't get a third chance. You almost never get a second.

"I'm certain that I love him and I don't want to lose him. That's enough."

Adam nods, and places a light kiss on her temple.

"I'm sorry that this happened."

"I'm sorry I was dead when I met you," she answers, and smiles again. It's better than crying.

That gives him pause, and he hugs her again.

"I am too, if only because of what I did. I'm glad that you're happy, though."

"I'd be happy in the end no matter what I decided about this, I think. But it's going to be my choice," softly. "Not his."

There's a light chuckle.

"I wouldn't expect any less."

"I'm still scared," she admits, and twists her hands a little.

"But he asked me to stay this time."

"I'd be more worried if you weren't."

She nods and it's her turn to lean over and up and press a kiss to his forehead.

"So take it back."

"I have."

And there was no crash, no bang, nothing significant, even if it feels like there should have been.

Just Adam and Lucy, sitting by the lake, and the quiet chirping of the birds.

"Thank you."

And now it's okay to cry, as quietly as she can, and press her face against his shoulder.

But she's not at all sorry.

And he doesn't know what to do now -- not that he did before -- but he holds her as best he can.

And for now, it's all that matters. The best you can is all that ever matters. It's all you need.
there's a change in the wind and it blows where it will
And Lucy will cry a little longer, and she'll head back to her own room and sleep for a long while.
there's a stable door that opens to another world
But for now, this is enough.

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